bbcovert@juno.com

As a six-year veteran of homeschooling, I have embraced home education wholeheartedly. I rejoice in every success story; I revel in every conference/convention/workshop. As much as I love it, however, I’m not blind to the foibles of the movement overall. Since my previous columns have all dealt with the joys of homeschooling, I think it is only fair that I take some time this month to recognize a couple of problems and offer some advice.

The trouble with homeschoolers is that so many try to "do it all" in the area of exposing their children to multiple educational opportunities. Like hamsters on a spinning wheel, they run without seeming to arrive at their destination. The exposure they are chasing doesn’t yield any obvious results. They are so busy in their "pursuit of excellence" that they allow ministry opportunities to pass them by. I don’t even mean the big things like teaching a weekly Sunday school class; I’m talking about helping a friend recuperate from surgery, providing child care while a church member goes on a job interview, or even baking cookies for a ladies meeting. Think about it! If you are at home all day and don’t have time to bake something homemade, what does that say about you? Baking is a life skill you can teach your children! It’s educational, and there’s a reward at its completion! Yet often store-bought goodies fill the refreshment tables. I remember a homeschool leader once begging people to bring homemade treats to a homeschool exhibition. Non-homeschoolers were going to be there, and she felt that our testimony would suffer if we stay-at-home-moms were revealed to be last-minute shoppers instead of Suzy Homemakers. I know a few of us might be cooking-challenged, but the rest don’t have an excuse.

I have a very dear friend whose schedule is deliberately flexible so that she can help friends in need. Got a doctor’s appointment? She’ll be glad to watch the kids! Have an evening work assignment? Drop the kids off, and don’t worry about feeding them first! Lost some income? Come grocery shopping in her pantry - she may not have much, but you’re welcome to whatever you need! That’s some major ministry she’s accomplishing! How’s the home education going? Believe me, it doesn’t suffer. Education happens as time allows, morning or afternoon, maybe even on weekends. Her homeschooled, 8th grade son gets straight A’s and has been accepted into a charter school for the upcoming year. Her daughter is president of a 4-H club. More than teaching her children the academics, my friend has taught them lessons in compassion. That is an admirable and worthy goal for all homeschool families!

My other complaint is the lack of manners that busy homeschoolers sometimes exhibit in public. An employee of a teaching supplies store griped about a homeschooling woman who never smiled, always demanded immediate service, and always allowed her children to run wild through the store. Her graceless behavior gave homeschoolers a bad name. Once I heard someone who had become fed up working with homeschoolers say, "I’ve had enough of homeschoolers. Find someone else to do it." Other homeschoolers don’t know the meaning of the word "commitment." They sign up for field trips, classes, clubs, etc., and then change their minds! They flit from activity to activity without a thought for the person offering the activity who is trying to make a living. Their careless behavior often costs time and money for the organizer. Thus, the actions of a few can give us all a bad reputation! What is the problem? I think it is that some of us have all our attention focused on our educational goals. We forget that people are watching us as we run errands during "school hours." We don’t have to wear a sign for them to know that we are homeschoolers! Therefore, if we are snippy, sour, or surly, their opinion of homeschoolers overall will suffer. We excuse ourselves for being late when we have more time to prepare than most people! We are so wrapped up in the homeschooling adventure that we forget to consider how our choices and mind-changes affect others! A hectic schedule is no excuse for bad manners! As homeschoolers and Christians, we are held to a higher standard than the world, so let’s not allow there to be a lapse in the courtesy we extend to others.

If you are one of those "hurry up, I’m in a rush" people, I hope you will slow down and remember to say "please" and "thank you" with a smile. You will be demonstrating good manners for your children! If you have avoided commitments, I hope you will stop and think about the affect your actions have on others. If you are one of those people who hears of a ministry opportunity and hopes that someone else volunteers quickly so that you don’t have to feel guilty, I hope you will throw that printed school schedule out the window and lend a hand. You will be modeling compassion for your children, and there will still be time for academics later. When your life is over, you will not say, "How I wish I had stuck to my schedules" Trust me. If we have regrets, it will be (to paraphrase Matthew 25:44) because we saw those who were hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and we did not help.

Coming next month: service opportunities for homeschoolers

Copyright 2003 by Brenda B. Covert